


Hope for Tomorrow

by teanc09



Category: The Newsroom (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-04-09 13:40:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4350917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teanc09/pseuds/teanc09
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Co-written with Stephanie.  Set post season one.  Mac convinces Will to let her help with a family crisis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

_"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow..."  
Albert Einstein ___

  


“I’m going for some lunch, would you like anything?” Mackenzie asked, popping her head into his office.

  
“A scotch on the rocks and some Vicodin would be good right about now,” he mumbled under his breath. He wasn’t sure whether he meant her to hear it or not, but she had, and now she was walking over to his desk with a worried look on her face. He hated that pinched, almost pained, expression she wore. He loved to watch happy, exuberant Mackenzie. He needed that right now.

  
“What’s wrong?” she asked, sitting down in the chair facing his desk.

  
“Nothing you can fix Mac…leave it alone,” he warned. He didn’t want to bring anyone else into the tragic mess that was his life these days.

  
“Okay, now you know I can’t possibly do that, and you know that I usually can help fix whatever is wrong, so let’s pretend I just came in and said ‘how’s it going’ and start this conversation all over again, shall we?”

  
He would have laughed at her confidence…if he had any humor left in him at that moment.

  
She could tell how upset he really was, so she came around to stand next to his chair and eased herself onto his desk. “Tell me,” she said softly, and placed her hand on his arm.

  
“It’s Mark. Lung cancer. And the fucking stubborn ass won’t take money from me! My own brother! What the hell good is money if you can’t help the people you love!” he shouted. But suddenly, he crumpled forward, and laid his head against her stomach and wrapped his arms around her.

  
Her hands were immediately in his hair and around his shoulders. She could feel him crying against her stomach. He sat up and she wiped his cheeks for him.  
“Do you think he’d listen to me? I know it’s been years since I’ve seen him, but we used to be really good friends. Plus, he introduced us…I owe him,” she winked. “I’d like to try to help somehow.”

  
It was true. Though Will would have met her only days later at ACN, Mark had met Mackenzie first, at an RNC event in Washington D.C., and they had become fast friends. All three of them had. They seemed to enjoy arguing their differing political positions. Soon enough though, Will and Mac were working together at ACN’s D.C. bureau and the rest, as they say, was history. But they all enjoyed their years in Washington together, rowdy evenings at bars and long discussions over dinner. Mark met his wife Pam not long after, and the four of them spent a lot of time together. Will and Mac’s move to New York and Mark and Pam’s move back to Nebraska put an end to that camaraderie.

  
“I don’t know if he’ll listen to anyone Mac. He’s just so damn angry right now. I don’t blame him, but he’s wasting time. I’m going home tomorrow. You can come if you want?” he asked, almost timidly. Her heart broke for him…he looked so lonely and lost. She simply nodded her reply.

  
“Mark’s been back in Lincoln for what, eight years now? I still can’t believe he gave up such a promising career in D.C. but he was following his heart and for that I can’t blame him,” she said, looking down at Will from her perch on his desk. “How’s Pam doing? It can’t be easy having your spouse diagnosed with cancer. Are you sure you don’t mind me going with you? I’d really like to see them both…it’s been too long,” she said wistfully.

  
She was treading very carefully. Will was upset, and she could understand why, but part of her was also waiting for an accusation to come flying out of his mouth. Waiting for him to say ‘and who’s fault is it that you haven’t seen them for years? If you hadn’t cheated on me and broken my heart, they would probably be your in-laws by now?!’ But he didn’t say any of that. He was too good for that.

  
“Of course I don’t mind you coming with me. It might be easier. Mark and I never had the best relationship, but you always managed to keep us from killing each other somehow. I haven’t spent much time with him or Pam since you left ACN,” he admitted sadly. He didn’t want it to sound like he was blaming her for the less than stellar relationship he’d had with his brother these past few years, but to some extent it was true. Mac made everything easier…especially dealing with his family. And a big part of him didn’t want to be with Mark and Pam without Mackenzie there beside him. They had all spent so much time together years ago, that it would only serve to remind him of what was missing….Mackenzie.

  
“Thank you. I’ll book a ticket. If you’ll send me your flight information I can try to get on the same flight.” She thought about what else she wanted to say to him but wasn’t quite sure if now was the time or not. She wasn’t going to have any regrets, she decided. “Mark is very jealous of you. Everything came easily to you Will, while he had to fight so hard, work so hard, for what he achieved. That’s where some of the resentment comes from. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that he doesn’t love you, he’s one of your biggest fans, but he needs to show that to you in his own way.”

  
“What the hell is he jealous of? I spend my nights alone playing guitar and reading news briefs. I spend my weekends trying to fill the hours until I can go back to the office. Mark has a wife and a family that adore him. I have my ratings, and my invisible friends, as Reese likes to call them,” he muttered.

  
Should she tell him? In for a penny, in for a pound, she thought to herself. “About a week after Mark introduced us, he asked me out. This happened to be right after you and I had gone out for the first time.”

  
You could have heard a pin drop. The room was unnaturally silent, until Will’s voice shattered the quiet.

  
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?!” he shouted, more than a little stunned that he was learning this now.

  
“I don’t tell you every time someone asks me out! I can take care of myself! I am perfectly capable of saying no, thank you very much. I’m telling you this now because it’s another something that you had and he didn’t. I’m trying to help you understand your brother!” she shouted back, then thought better of it. She needed to calm down. She had to be the voice of reason here…Will was too upset to do it.

  
“Jesus Mac! This wasn’t some guy at a bar that was hitting on you! This was my fucking brother! Didn’t you think I might want to know?!” He was up and pacing the room now.

  
“Billy, relax,” she said, sliding off of his desk and standing in his path. “Mark didn’t know that you and I had gone out until I told him. He didn’t talk to me for a week afterwards. I know that he wasn’t some random guy, but how would putting myself in the middle of the two of you have been helpful? There was no harm done and about a month later he met Pam. It was a moot point then. Plus, you and I were about to move to New York and he was planning to go back to Lincoln.” She felt she had laid out her case rather well…obviously Will didn’t agree.

  
“So, what would have happened if we hadn’t broken up Mac? You and Mark would have avoided each other at family gatherings for the rest of our lives? There would have been awkward silences and stilted conversations and I never would have had the first fucking clue why?!”

  
“Mark and I worked it out and once he met Pam he was immediately and totally in love with her. Seems that runs in the family too,” she said, giving him a slight smile. He was still too tense to return it, but at least his frantic pacing had stopped. Now he was just standing in the middle of his office staring at her.

  
“There weren’t any hard feelings between Mark and I…nothing strained or awkward. You seem to be having more of a problem with this than either of us ever did Billy.”

  
“Maybe that’s because I’m finding out about it a decade or so after the fact Mac! Jesus, what the hell else don’t I know about you? About us?!” he shouted, wringing his hands together.

  
“Okay, tell me this Will. What would you have done if you knew he’d asked me out? Confront him? What good would that have done anyone?” Now she was getting mad. What was the point of all this? “Did you tell me everything that ever happened while we were together?” she asked pointedly.

  
“I don’t know what I would have done, but I would have liked to have had the choice. And yes, I did tell you everything that happened when we were together,” he said indignantly, though truth be told, he was currently running their years together through his mind and trying to decide if he was being honest with her.

  
“How about this, when we go to Lincoln, anything Mark tells me, I will tell you. I can’t change the past, but I can tell you everything now Will. I’m sorry you think I kept you in the dark. I’m sorry you think that I took away your choice. I’d never do that to you. I respect and trust you to know what I’d want to hear, and if you think it’s not relevant to us or our relationship, then I trust you.”

  
She finished her speech and stood back, watching him take it all in.

  
He suddenly felt like a scolded child. It was ridiculous of him to demean her for not telling him about something that had happened years ago…something that had never really affected their relationship. Sure, some pieces were starting to fall into place for him where Mark was concerned, but he could completely understand why Mac wouldn’t have wanted to create an argument between two brothers.

  
“I’m sorry I yelled. I had no right to take out my anger and frustration on you. I’m worried about my brother and I can’t do anything for him, but that’s no excuse. I’m sorry Mac,” he said, hands in his pockets and head hanging down.

  
She moved closer to him and pulled his hands out of his pockets and took those rough, calloused fingers in hers. “I know you’re worried about him. I’m worried about him too. We’ll go to Nebraska and figure out how to help him, okay?” she asked, and put her arms around his neck and pulled his head to her shoulder.

  
“Thank you,” he whispered into her hair, as he clung onto her for dear life. He had missed knowing that someone was there for him. He had never had that before Mackenzie…the knowledge that there was one person he trusted with everything.

  
She rubbed his back and tried to help him calm down. “Anything you need, Billy. Anything. Are you hearing me?”

  
“Wanna help me pack?” he asked chuckling, but he wasn’t really sure if he was joking. He wasn’t ready to be apart from her just yet.

  
She laughed and said, “I’d love to. Come on, let’s get you home and packed and I’ll book my ticket and get my things together and we’ll go shake some sense into Mark. You know, together we can do anything.”

  
Can we fix us, he wanted to ask? Maybe it was his fear talking, desperate for her comfort, but he didn’t think that was it. He and Mac had been working their way back toward each other for a while now and maybe a good healthy dose of fear was what he needed to remind him that they didn’t have forever to figure this out. He smoked and drank and ate like a college kid…it could just as easily have been him hearing that cancer diagnosis. He could be dying and then there would be no time for second chances.

  
“Is Lonny downstairs?” she asked. He was seemingly lost in his thoughts and she didn’t want him closing himself off from her. “Promise me something. Promise me you’ll talk to me and let me help, even if you need a hug, or for me to hold your hand, I’m there for you Will. I’m not just going for Mark, okay?”

  
“I know that Mac. I do. Here’s my flight number,” he said handing her a slip of paper. “Why don’t you see if you can get on the same flight and we’ll go from there?” He pulled out his wallet and tried to hand her a credit card.

  
“The paper I’ll take, but you may put away that credit card Will. I’m perfectly capable of paying for my own ticket. I’m going to go see if I can get a seat and then we’ll go to your apartment to get you packed.”

  
“I don’t leave until tomorrow night Mac. We still have to work,” he said petulantly, looking around the office as if to remind her they were still at ACN.

  
“I know how you pack, William, and there’s a reason I always packed for both of us. So, let me get a seat and we’ll get you packed and I’ll go and pack a bag for myself and we can leave from here tomorrow night,” she said, in a tone that brooked no arguments.

  
“Fine” he huffed out, but secretly he loved her pushy side. He’d forgotten what it was like to be taken care of by Mackenzie McHale. She took no prisoners in her attempts to comfort and shelter her loved ones. He’d missed being counted among those she held most dear.

  
“Thank you. I’m going to go get my purse and we’ll be off and by the time you’re packed it will be time for us to get back here for the four o’clock meeting.”  
It took them more time than they had realized to make it across town to his apartment. They weren’t used to being out and about in the middle of the afternoon on a work day. Will felt vaguely like he was playing hooky from school. He would have chuckled at the thought if the image of his cancer-ridden brother back home hadn’t crept back into his thoughts.

  
There was something comforting, though, about seeing Mackenzie back in his bedroom. Rifling through his closet and drawers, tossing things into a suitcase for him while he watched from a chair in the corner of the room.

  
“Did you need any help?” he asked facetiously, because he knew she would say no.

  
“You know what you could do for me? Make me a turkey sandwich, please, while I finish this up and I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”

  
“Sure,” he replied. He smiled at how easily they were falling into old habits. She knew he would never be without the makings for a good turkey sandwich and he knew exactly how she wanted one fixed. He went into the kitchen and began their lunch preparations. He reached into the fridge for her favorite mustard and then stopped when he realized it wasn’t there anymore. It hadn’t been for some time now.

  
“Shit,” he cursed under his breath, just as she entered the kitchen.

  
“Thanks for fixing our sandwiches,” she said.

  
“They’re not right,” he said with frustration. He looked down at the sandwiches as if they had done something wrong. Mackenzie examined them, trying to figure out what the hell he was talking about.

  
“They look great to me. Thanks for lunch,” she said, moving to the cupboard that held the potato chips and putting them on the counter next to the sandwiches.  
“I threw out your mustard,” he said, as if he had tossed out the crown jewels.

  
“Well, I should hope so. Why would you keep four year old mustard Will?” she joked, but he still looked crestfallen over his perceived error. She knew it was just the pressure of the situation. He was upset about Mark’s illness and every little thing that went wrong now would just be an excuse to blow off some steam. She wasn’t going to let him blow up every time he got upset now though. The man would have a heart attack if he didn’t calm down. She opened the refrigerator again and looked at the condiments available and picked up his favorite mustard.

  
“This will work nicely,” she told him comfortingly.

  
“But it’s not what you like Mac. Would you prefer some mayonnaise, or maybe…” he stuck his head into the fridge hoping to find something he could offer her.

  
She pulled on his arm, dragging him away from the refrigerator, and closing the door. “You make a great sandwich, whether or not it has my favorite mustard or this one, it doesn’t matter. You know what does matter? I’ll tell you. You’re letting me help you through a rough time and you’re feeding me lunch to boot. That’s more than enough for me Billy.”

  
“Ok,” he said, blushing furiously. Mackenzie was the only woman who did this to him. The only one who could make one simple compliment or endearment and he was bubbling over with emotion.

  
“Did you want something to drink?” he asked, looking into the fridge again and hoping like hell he at least had something that she wanted to drink. What the hell had he been thinking? Not keeping a damn thing she liked in this house anymore?

  
She knew he was flustered and she wanted to help him, so she’d request some juice, as she knew she had seen some in there when she was looking through the condiments. “Do you have any juice? Any kind, it doesn’t matter.”

  
His face lit up, thrilled he was finally able to offer her something. “I have apple juice. Will that work?” he asked, suddenly desperate to please her.

  
She smiled at him and said, “that’s perfect, thank you. Do you want to eat on the balcony?”

  
He nodded and took his plate and glass out to the small table on his balcony. “Do you ever think about where we’d be now Mac?” he asked, as they sat down and looked out over the city as they began their lunch.

  
She was torn, but she swore that she’d never lie to him again, so she didn’t. “I can’t Billy. I can’t think about what our lives would be like now. It hurts too much.”

  
“I know. Most of the time I don’t let myself go there. But every now and again I run into an old friend who asks about you or I get a Christmas card with pictures of someone’s family and I wonder if that would be us Kenz. Would I be sending out birth announcements and Christmas cards with picturesque family photos?” he wondered aloud.

  
“Of course you’d be sending out birth announcements. We’d have adorable little moppets with very blue eyes and blond hair and they’d have us wrapped around their little fingers,” she said, wiping away a tear from her cheek.

  
“I’d like to think some of them would be brown-eyed brunettes,” he whispered, pushing her hair back out of her face.

  
She leaned into his touch. “You would be an amazing father Billy.”

  
“I wanted it all so badly Kenz. I thought we were there,” he admitted. He’d never really thought about a family before her. God knows, his own family was royally fucked up. He’d always been afraid he would repeat the mistakes of his father. But with Mackenzie, he thought, maybe he wouldn’t.

  
“I still do Billy. I still want it.”

  
“Really?” he asked, stunned that she still thought about sharing a life with him. Sure, she was the one prodding him to discuss his feelings and the voicemail and begging for a second chance. But she was also the one who cheated and left the county. They weren’t exactly spring chickens anymore and he had to wonder what she thought their future looked like.

  
“Yes, really. Why does that surprise you? I love you and I know we are in a very different place now, but that doesn’t mean my feelings for you have changed.”

  
He swallowed hard and tried to find the words to express the relief he was feeling, but he couldn’t. For the first time, he was actually glad they were going to be heading to Lincoln together for a few days. Maybe he would find a way to put his relief into words.

  
“We need to get back to work Mac,” he managed to stutter out through his shock. He watched her nod and slowly gather her plate and glass and head back inside.

  
“Mackenzie? My feelings for you haven’t changed either,” he admitted carefully, and then hurried inside before he could say anything to screw this up.

  
She was shocked…so shocked that she couldn’t move. She was standing in the balcony doorway holding her dishes staring toward where he had disappeared into the kitchen. She was still standing there when he came out of the kitchen. His return seemed to jolt her from her trance though.

  
“Right, work. Let’s go…we’ve got a show to do,” she said firmly, finally moving inside.

  
Somehow they managed to get through the show that night, but it pained Will to watch Mackenzie walk away from him and go off to her own apartment at the end of the work day. He found himself wandering around his own home that night, unable to sit still long enough to even try to sleep. And that was when his phone rang.

  
“Hello?” he said uncertainly into the receiver.

  
“I can’t sleep,” she said when he answered the phone. “I keep thinking about our lunch conversation and from the sound of your voice, I didn’t wake you up.”

  
“You did not,” he assured her. “I am currently wandering the halls of my apartment pondering the emptiness of said dwelling and thinking that I shouldn’t still be living alone at age fifty,” he told her.

  
“I don’t like living alone any more than you do.” She was curled up on her couch wearing one of his old t-shirts that he probably didn’t even know she had. “I miss us. Plus, I’m worried about Mark and Pam and all I want to do is curl up with you in bed, and talk, and feel your arms around me.”

  
“Why are we torturing ourselves Mac?” he asked, but he was asking himself as much as he was asking her. He didn’t know why he was putting them through the tortures of the damned anymore.

  
“I don’t know, but I’d like it to stop, and for us to be a family again,” she admitted.

  
“That sounds really good Mac. I’d like to have a family again,” he whispered into the phone.  “Did you reserve a hotel room in Lincoln?” he asked suddenly.

  
She was momentarily thrown by his change in topic, but quickly caught back up to his thought process. “No, I wasn’t sure where you were staying and I wanted to be near you, if not at the same hotel.”

  
“That’s great!” he nearly shouted, then calmed himself. “Mary and her family moved a few weeks ago and her house is empty right now. I was planning on staying there. You can stay with me,” he said firmly. He had dreaded the idea of some third rate hotel near the airport, but when he remembered his sister and her family had left their house empty after their recent move, he thought he had found the perfect solution. Now, it was sounding even better. Alone, with Mackenzie, in a large rambling farmhouse sounded pretty damn good right now. And, given the circumstances, he would take any creature comforts he could get.

  
“I’d like that. Thank you, Billy.” An idea suddenly popped into her head. “Billy, do you know if Mary saved the cord blood from your niece or nephew? Or did Mark and Pam?” she asked excitedly.

  
“Why in the hell would I know that Mac? Do I look like the kind of guy that sits around and talks about childbirth with my sister or my sister-in-law?” he asked sarcastically.

  
She was used to his bluster and didn’t let it distract her. “It’s what, an hour earlier in Lincoln? Call your sister and ask her. We can talk to Pam when we get in tomorrow.”

  
“Mac! What the hell am I supposed to do? Ring up my sister and ask her about her birth plan? First of all, she lives in San Francisco now, so it’s more like three hours earlier, and second, I really don’t want to talk to my sister about placentas and cord blood,” he whined.

  
“Do you want me to call her? Give me her number and I will. There are stem cells in cord blood and if Mark is a match, those stem cells could help cure him.”

  
“You can’t send an email, but you know about stem cells and bone marrow transplants?” he muttered.

  
“I produced a story on it once,” she explained, enthusiasm still bubbling over.

  
“Mac, we can’t do anything tonight. Let’s just wait until we get to Nebraska and see what’s going on with Mark, ok?” he asked. He had forgotten how gung ho she could be when she thought she had the solution to someone’s problem. It was endearing…and slightly annoying.

  
“Okay,” she acquiesced. “Can we talk about us?” she asked.

  
“It’s nearly one in the morning Mac. What do you want to talk about?” he said wearily. He wasn’t sure if he was actually ready to go to sleep, but he also wasn’t sure he was ready for an in-depth discussion of their romantic past.

  
“It’s okay. Go to bed and I’ll see you at work tomorrow. Good night, Billy.”

  
“Mac?” he said quickly, before she could hang up. “I do want to talk about us. I just can’t do it tonight, ok?” he asked, begging for her to understand.

  
“You promise me we’ll talk? Either on the plane or at the house?” she pleaded.

  
“I promise you. Go to sleep. We still have to work tomorrow. Lonny will take us to the airport after the show. And Mac? Thank you. I don’t know if I could do this without you.”

  
“Anything you need, and I do mean anything, I’m there for you and your family Will.”

  
“I know. I’ll see you tomorrow, ok?” he asked, hanging on to the phone as he got into bed.

  
“Good night, Billy. I love you.”

  
“Good night Mac,” he whispered, not sure if he could say more.

  
She wasn’t surprised that he didn’t say he loved her back. They had made a lot of progress over lunch and she was happy with where they were at, personally. Once they got to Lincoln, they need to concentrate on Mark and Pam, but she hoped that they would have some time to work on their relationship as well. She fell asleep with that hope blossoming in her chest and a smile on her face.


	2. Hope for Tomorrow Chapter Two

“Would you please tell me why you and Will are scurrying around here having clandestine conversations behind closed doors? And why do you both look alternatively happy or hopelessly sad? And why is there a suitcase in your office? And why…nope, that’s it…that’s all I’ve got for questions,” Sloan stuttered to a stop within moments of bursting into Mackenzie’s office the next morning.

“It’s way too early for all these questions, Sloan. Have you had breakfast yet? Let’s go get a bagel and some coffee and I’ll try to answer as many of your questions as I am able,” Mackenzie replied, trying to be patient, but secretly wanting to run to Will’s office and see how he was this morning. 

“Shit. This must be serious. You’re buying me breakfast? Does Will want to fire me?” Sloan asked worriedly.

“What?! No! Why do you think Will wants to fire you? What have you done?” Mackenzie replied suspiciously.

“Nothing! At least nothing out of the ordinary for me. I asked him for a few extra minutes to talk about the Greek debt crisis and the stabilization of the Euro. It’s not like I’ve set him up with any gun-wielding lunatics lately or anything,” Sloan grumbled, taking a seat in the chair facing Mackenzie’s desk.

“You are going to stop setting him up with anyone,” Mackenzie responded seriously, her face not showing any hint of humor.

Sloan leaned back from the very angry, very determined look on Mac’s face. “You’re quite territorial today. Anything new I should know about?” Sloan asked, a slight grin forming on her face.

“Sloan, you are going to stop setting my boyfriend up with anyone, do you understand what I’m saying to you?”

“So, when you say boyfriend, is this another slip of the tongue, like at New Year’s, or is this…something more?” she asked slyly.

Mac smiled. “It’s a bit undefined right now, but we’re talking, okay? No more questions about our relationship for the time being. I don’t want you accidentally saying anything to Will.”

“I would never do that!” Sloan shouted, defending herself. But then she thought about the Fukushima story and she bit her tongue. Maybe she was a bit of a loose cannon at times. But she wouldn’t betray her friends. “So, what’s with the suitcase? If this is so undefined, what exactly, are you two doing sneaking out of town together?”

“There is a family situation in Lincoln, Nebraska and we’re going to see if we can help, somehow,” Mackenzie admitted, seemingly wondering if they really could be any help. “It is imperative that you do not ask Will anything about going to Lincoln.” She knew he was already upset and Sloan asking questions was only going to make it worse.

“Okay, fine, geesh! Someone’s in full protective mode today,” Sloan muttered, but it was terribly cute to see Mackenzie standing up for her man.

“I’m serious, Sloan. Not a word, are you hearing me? And, more importantly, are you listening? I will not have him questioned about this!”

“Okay, I get it Kenz. Just tell me, are you guys okay?” Sloan asked seriously.

“Will and I are fine,” Mackenzie reassured her friend. She wasn’t exactly lying, she rationalized.

“You’re hedging Mackenzie. I can tell. What’s wrong?” Sloan countered. They were staring each other down across Mackenzie’s desk, and somebody was going to crack.

“Has anyone ever compared you to a dog with a bone?” Mackenzie replied wearily.

“No, but my father once told me I was like water eroding a beach…constant and unyielding. Give it up Kenz, you can’t win with me.”

“Nice analogy. You have to swear on the market, Sloan, you will not say a word to Will.” Sloan could see how serious Mackenzie was about this. She was tempted to hold her two fingers up and do a Girl Scout pledge, but she sensed now was not the time for humor.

“Geesh, Kenz. Why don’t you just ask for my firstborn! Okay, fine, I swear on the Dow Jones Industrial…I will not speak a word of what you say to me!”

Mac got a very sad look on her face and said, “Will’s brother was diagnosed with lung cancer. I knew Mark before I knew Will. We’re all very close and this is very difficult. It’s not looking good,” she admitted sadly to her friend.

“I’m so sorry. Is he undergoing treatment? Is there anything they can do?” Sloan asked.

“We don’t know. Part of going to Lincoln is to figure out what we can do and how we can help. Mark’s wife, Pam, is a friend as well. They have small children and this is going to be tough on all of them. Will and I are trying to help.”

Sloan could see that this wasn’t just about Will anymore. These people were dear to Mackenzie as well.

“You were close with Will’s family, weren’t you?” Sloan asked, watching the sadness color her friend’s expression. Sloan had always wondered just how deep the connection ran between Will and Mackenzie, and now she knew. Mackenzie had practically been a member of the family, and then it was all ripped away. God, when would these two realize how much they needed each other?

“Yes, well, I was close with Mark and Pam, at least. We were all in D.C. together. I don’t know Will’s sisters as well, but until I fucked it all up, this was my family too,” Mackenzie said sadly.

“Kenz, you haven’t fucked it all up! You’re here…you’re trying to help him. And, I’m guessing from the suitcase, that he wants you to go home with him. That’s something, right?” Sloan asked her friend, hating to see her in pain like this.

Mac wiped a tear from her eye and nodded at Sloan. “I have no idea what we’re going to do, Sloan, or how we’re going to help. I have no idea about any of this, but we’ll be there for them.”

“Well then, you’re going to need to be ready to go. You can’t work all day on an empty stomach and then fly to Nebraska overnight. I’ll go get you a coffee and that lemon pound cake you love from the deli downstairs. Can I get Will anything?” Sloan asked, and Mackenzie almost wanted to laugh out loud at how determined the economist was to do something for them…anything.

Mac smiled at Sloan and said, “thank you, that would be great. It will give me time to get the show going and get Jim prepped. We’ve got a lot to do today. Will would love anything sweet.”

The day flowed smoothly enough, but Mackenzie could tell that Will was a million miles away, and he was counting on her to get him through it. Mac was keeping as much as possible off of Will’s plate. She stuck her head into his office just as he was coming out of the bathroom. He had just changed for the show.

“You need some help with your tie?” she offered, standing in the doorway.

“Huh? Oh, yeah,” he mumbled, looking down at the offending garment dangling uselessly from his neck. Should he really be going on the air? He felt slightly detached from everything at the moment, like Mark’s cancer was reminding him of what was really important and it wasn’t the fucking ratings or the viewers.

“Here, let me,” she said, picking up the ends of his tie. “Double Windsor okay with you?” she asked as she tied his tie. Honestly, she didn’t think he really cared. He placed his hands on her hips while she was tying his tie. “One more hour, Billy, and that will be it. I know you’re not feeling like you should even be on the air, but you can do this, we can do this…together.”

He looked into her eyes and he knew, if he could just listen to her in his ear, he would be able to make it through this one, last broadcast. “Okay,” he nodded at her, and followed her toward the studio.

The whole broadcast was a blur to him, but he was certain the look on Mackenzie’s face would have been much more grim if he had really fucked things up. She was waiting in his office after the show, a bright smile plastered to her face, as if sheer determination could get them through this.

“Mac, try not to look so panicked,” he chuckled.

“What? I am not panicked Billy!” she replied, practically stomping her feet in disagreement. 

“Okay, whatever you say. But you might want to loosen your grip on your briefcase. I’m not sure you have any circulation in the fingers on your right hand anymore,” he told her, staring pointedly at her hands. She looked down and realized her fingers were a startling palate of whites and reds. Whoops!

“Fine, you win, I’m a little nervous,” she admitted.

“Why? It’s just Mark and Pam, they love you,” he reassured her, pulling his coat on over his sweater and gathering their things.

“Yeah, and pretty soon it will be Mary and Anna. They hate me Will,” she said sadly. Will’s sisters had never warmed to her, but she was sure the whole cheating thing had only added fuel to the fire. She couldn’t blame them for hating her, but it still hurt.

“They don’t hate you Mac. They barely had time to get to know you. Let’s give this a chance before you run for the hills, okay?” he pleaded, and she heard a little hint of fear in his voice. Shit! He thought she was ready to abandon him all over again. That had to change.

“You’re absolutely right Billy. Let’s go! We’ve got a flight to catch!” 

They made their plane with plenty of time to spare. They’d each grabbed something to drink and a light snack while they were waiting to board and were simply sitting by the gate area, staring out at the busy tarmac beyond the windows. Lonny kept a subtle distance away from them, watching over their every move, but trying not to disturb the little bubble of intimacy that surrounded them.

“Is anyone meeting our plane?” Mackenzie suddenly asked.

“No. We’ve got a rental car set up and we’ll go to Mary’s house and catch up with everyone tomorrow morning. It’s going to be so late when we arrive, I didn’t want anyone to have to meet us when I can get us to the house.”

She placed her hand on his arm and said, “no, that makes perfect sense. Didn’t Mary move all of their things to San Francisco?”

“Not yet. They’ve not sold the house and they are in corporate housing right now, so everything is provided. It was easier to just leave most of their things in Lincoln.”

Mac and Mary had gotten on better than she and Anna, but she’d never count either of them as close friends, let alone sisters, even though she’d never had a sister before.

He was so happy that she was coming with him. He didn’t think he’d be able to do this on his own. “Thank you for coming with me,” he said quietly and picked up her hand.

“I need to do something to help, Will. I’m feeling useless.”

He looked at her and said, “you’re doing a very important job right now and that’s keeping me together and functioning. I couldn’t do this without you, Kenz. More importantly, I don’t want to. I want to know that you’re there for me beyond all this…beyond Mark’s illness,” he said uncertainly. How could he believe that she would just be there for a few days in Nebraska, for a few family get-togethers, and then walk away from him? 

“I’ll be by your side as long as you’ll let me be.” To him that sounded as if their whole relationship was up to him. The more he thought about it, the more everything she said made sense to him. She was the one who hurt him and now she was letting him make the calls. But he didn’t want a one sided relationship and he didn’t want her doing penance any longer. For that to happen though he needed to let her know her penance was over and that they needed to make some decisions about their relationship…together.

“Can we talk on the plane, or are you too tired?” he asked her.

“I’m fine. I’ve got my coffee and we can talk as much as you’d like and about anything.”

“Thanks.” He was thinking about all the things he wanted to say to her when his thoughts were interrupted by an announcement inviting them to board. 

They gathered their carry-ons and made their way to the gate. The attendant took their boarding passes and kept the stub, handing them back their tickets and wished them a safe and happy flight. They got settled in their seats in first class and Will moved the armrest from between them. Lonny was seated behind them, quietly flipping through a magazine, as he watched passengers board and made sure no one got too close to his client. Their flight attendant came by to see if they wanted anything and they all declined for now. By some miracle they were the only ones in first class. 

Once they took off he crossed his legs toward Mac and said, “I need to talk about us.”

“Right,” she said and looked both sad and scared at the same time.

He tilted his head and said, “let’s agree to something before we continue.”

“What?”

“Nothing we talk about is going to be done in anger and nothing is going to be said to deliberately hurt the other. Do you agree?”

“Agreed,” she said.

“I don’t like that you seem scared to talk to me about this, Kenz.”

She wasn’t prepared for him to be so open with her. For the better part of two years he’d kept other women, news stories and anything he could use between them so that he wouldn’t have to really talk about anything.

“I have no idea where your head is right now and I don’t know what you’re feeling toward me. Are you angry, sad, hurt, all of the above? Are you only leaning on me right now because I’m here and I’m convenient? Will this all go away after we get back from Nebraska? I just don’t know what to think Billy.”

He reached for her hand and laced their fingers together and rested their hands on his leg. “I’m upset about Mark, that’s for sure. I’m very thankful that you’re coming with me to Lincoln and that you want to help, but it’s more than that Mac. I don’t know what exactly it is right now…but it’s more than two friends helping each other through a rough time.”

“I love you, Billy. I know that scares you right now, but I don’t know how else to explain this to you. I want to help because that’s what families do they help each other. I may not be officially a part of your family, but you and your family is the closest I’ve got here.”

“You are,” he said quietly.

“Excuse me?”

“You are my family. You’re the person I want to laugh with and celebrate with and cry with, Kenz.”

He saw the tears flood her eyes and he pulled her head to his shoulder and held her as best he could. Even in first class there wasn’t that much room.

After the tears stopped, she didn’t untangle herself from him, quite the opposite in fact. She turned and sat against him, his arm around her and she’d laced their fingers back together and rested them on her chest. Her head was tucked against his. They sat there being quiet together, enjoying the closeness.

“Do Mark and Pam know we’re coming?” Mac asked.

“Not exactly.”

“What does that mean?” she asked quietly.

“It means that I didn’t tell them I was coming and they have no idea I’m bringing you with me.”

“He’s going to be so pissed off at you,” Mac chuckled at the thought. Will and Mark were like two old Billy goats, knocking heads.

“Then he should have let me help from the start and I wouldn’t have had to fly to Nebraska to knock some sense into his head.” Mac held in her laughter as Will confirmed her earlier image of the two stubborn brothers.

“Pam will make him listen,” she assured him.

“You think? What if she didn’t want me to help?”

“Did anyone say that they didn’t want your help?” Mac asked, trying to help him work through this in his own way.

“They said they didn’t want any money.”

“That’s different. You and I both know it’s different having money.” And they did both understand that money could be a wonderful, powerful tool. But it could also build up resentments and uncomfortable feelings of the haves versus the have-nots in many cases. They had both had their fair share of feeling as if they were being judged for being privileged…for working hard and climbing the ladder at a national news organization that paid very well.

He nodded, his head still resting against hers. “I want him to have the best and most advanced treatments available and those cost money. Plus, a lot of time the insurance companies won’t pay for experimental treatments.”

“There are also drug trials and government studies to look into and those don’t cost,” Mac added.

“I hadn’t thought about those options. I guess I was thinking more about the private doctors that are cancer specialists.”

“I think we need to be ready to make all of these suggestions to them, but this is happening to them and we have to respect their decisions, even if they aren’t the decisions we’d make.”

“I know,” he agreed. “I want them…” he started and then stopped. 

She knew he was trying to compose himself and she held his hand tighter. “We’ll help them in any way they will let us, okay?” she asked turning her head toward him.

He was staring into her eyes and he knew at that moment that he’d come to accept that she was his family and that he loved her with all of his heart. “I love you, Kenz.”

He wasn’t expecting tears but she had them rolling down her cheeks. She turned in his arms and wrapped herself around him, her head resting against his. “I love you, Billy.”

He untangled their arms and placed his hands on her cheeks and very gently leaned in and kissed her. “I want us to be happy, together, again. The past is done and we can’t do anything about that, but what we can control are our actions and how we move forward, because I do want to move forward with you, sweetheart. We’re done with the penance, do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“Anything else you’d like to say?” he prompted, stunned that she was just sitting there quietly. Mackenzie didn’t do quiet.

“I think I’m in shock. Not in a bad way, don’t get me wrong. I can’t wait to move forward with you. I had no idea you were there, though.”

“I think finding out Mark is sick changed my perspective. We can’t postpone happiness, because none of us is guaranteed a tomorrow, so we have to embrace happiness when we find it and I know I sound like a fucking greeting card, but the bottom line is that it’s true.” And he was also starting to believe what Habib had said about forgiving Mac. He couldn’t force it and he couldn’t keep holding his hand over the candle. There would suddenly be a moment when he knew that forgiveness was right for him…for them. And that moment was now.

“It is true and I want that happiness with you,” she said snuggling up against his chest. He saw her yawn.

“Are you getting tired, Mac?”

Instead of answering him she simply nodded her head against his chest. He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight. “Close your eyes and I’ll close mine and we’ll rest for a while.” They slept, curled up together, for the rest of the flight.

Arriving in Lincoln, Nebraska in the middle of the night was a disarming experience. Having spent most of her life being shuttled from one big city to the next, Mackenzie was not, nor had she ever been, a small-town girl. It was startling to leave New York City’s bustling JFK Airport and be confronted with a nearly empty terminal once they arrived in Will’s hometown.

“Do you ever get used to this?” she asked, tiredly leaning against him near the baggage carousel, Lonny hovering protectively nearby.

“What?” he asked, not quite sure what she was talking about.

“The quiet,” she said. Looking around them, he realized they were practically alone.

“Um…not really. You forget I haven’t lived here since I was seventeen Mackenzie. I’m just as used to the bustle of New York or D.C. as you are. I never really felt very at home here,” he told her, squeezing her hand.

“Was it just because of your family or did you always want to be somewhere else?” she asked, truly curious, since he had never really talked much about his childhood before. Not even when they were still very much a couple.

“Who knows? I don’t ever remember having a normal, healthy family life. I’m sure that colored how I felt about this town. I have no clue whether I would have wanted to stay here if my father hadn’t been an asshole.”

“I would say I’m sorry then, but I’m not. We never would have met if you had stayed here,” she admitted. But part of her felt awful for saying that. In her heart, she wished Will had gotten to experience the love of a true family.

“Hand me your driver’s license,” Will said, clearing his throat. He wasn’t ready to discuss his father and his fucked up childhood in the middle of the Lincoln Airport, and certainly not with Lonny Church standing over his shoulder.

“Huh?” she asked blearily, fatigue and confusion coloring her voice.

“I need to put your name on the rental lease, so you can drive the car if you need it,” he reminded her. Please Mac, follow along here. I’m not ready to fall apart yet.

“Oh, right,” she replied, nodding brightly and digging into her purse for her license.

“Thanks,” he said, handing the clerk both their licenses. He knew she had also understood his abrupt change in topic…he was thanking her for playing along with that as well. He put his hand on her lower back to guide her out toward their car. Lonny got in the front and Will guided Mackenzie to the back seat, where they leaned against each other tiredly.

The ride out to Mary’s house was boring and traffic free, something neither of them were used to. Even in the middle of the night, New York City bustled with traffic and energy. This pastoral scene was quiet and relaxing…and deadly boring.

“You’re not falling asleep, are you?” Mackenzie asked, poking him in the side. 

“It would be easy to, wouldn’t it?” he laughed.

“God yes! What the hell are we going to do when we want Chinese take-out or a falafel in the middle of the night Will?”

“I think the McDonald’s might be open 24/7?” he replied chuckling.

“Oh joy,” she said sarcastically.

“Come on Mac! Look at it this way…we’ll have plenty of time to talk. Not much else to do in Lincoln, Nebraska” he chuckled. 

“I could think of a few other things we could fill our time with,” she mumbled.

“Me too,” he whispered, grabbing one of her hands in his and kissing her knuckles. But soon enough, they were pulling up to the old farmhouse that had been Will’s childhood home, and that his sister Mary had called home for nearly ten years.

“The house looks good,” Mac said as Will and Lonny pulled their bags out of the car.

“Yeah. I think Mark and Pam were coming over every so often to check on it after Mary and Thomas left. Not sure who’s been looking after it the last couple of weeks. We may have to air the place out a little and make sure the fridge isn’t growing mold,” he told her.

But none of them were prepared for the mess they walked into. Clutter everywhere…old newspapers, empty bottles, and fast-food containers. They flipped the lights on in the kitchen and were met by a pile of dirty dishes in the sink.


	3. Chapter Three

“What the hell?!” Will shouted. And that was when they heard the clatter of bare feet stumbling down the stairs and heading for them. Will shoved Mackenzie behind him, and Lonny shoved Will behind _him,_ as they all prepared to do battle with an intruder.   But they were met with the startled face of Will’s sister, Anna.

“Billy?! What the fuck are you doing here?” a very sleepy and disheveled Anna asked.

“I came to see Mark and Pam. What are you doing in Mary’s house?” Will replied.

“It’s my house too! We grew up here. I can stay here if I want to,” Anna huffed out.

“It isn’t your house Anna. Mary and Thomas bought the house from all of us when Mom died. They own it now,” Will reminded his sister. Anna, seemingly, had never grown up. She was always the sibling that needed money or help or guidance from her older siblings. She always managed to find a way to blame everyone but herself for the mess her life had become, as she floated from one job to the next, or one relationship to the next.

“Well, nobody is living here right now, what the hell difference does it make Billy?”

“Mac and I had planned on staying here while we visit Mark and Pam. I guess we’ll just all have to stay out of each other’s way.” And with that, Mackenzie eased her way out from behind Will and watched as Anna cast a glare her way.

“Hello Anna,” Mackenzie greeted.

“What is _she_ doing here?” Anna demanded. “And who the hell is _that_?” she asked, pointing toward Lonny.

“This is Lonny Church, my bodyguard. And Mackenzie is here because I _want_ her to be here. You don’t have to try to get along with her, but you will be civil Anna,” Will warned, and Anna knew better than to upset the brother with money, the one who had saved her ass more times than she could count, not that she ever showed any gratitude for it.

“Fine,” Anna ground out through clenched teeth. “How are you Mackenzie?” she asked, syrupy sweetness dripping through her voice.

“I’m well, and you Anna?” Mackenzie replied politely.

“Peachy. So what, you two worked your shit out?” Anna asked.

“Always brutal and to the point sis,” Will said, throwing a glare toward his sister. “It’s none of your business, Anna.”

“Hey, sleep together, don’t sleep together…it doesn’t matter to me. But just so you know, there are only three bedrooms that still have mattresses in them, and I’m in one. Either you and Mackenzie are sharing or you and the bodyguard are. Makes no difference to me,” Anna said flippantly and left the room.

“I feel the love,” Lonny deadpanned.

“And you thought I wasn’t warm and fuzzy? Wait till you meet the rest of the family,” Will grumbled. “Come on, I’ll show you the bedrooms,” he told Lonny and Mac.

Will passed by the closed door that he assumed Anna was behind and showed Lonny to a guest bedroom. Then, suddenly, he and Mackenzie were alone in what used to be his parent’s bedroom. It had served as a sort of a large playroom and tv room for Mary and Thomas’ two children. Thankfully, there was still a queen sized bed in the corner of the room. Who cared that it had a giant Justin Bieber blanket on it at this point? He was too tired to give a shit.

“Are we really meant to sleep under _that_?” Mackenzie asked, chuckling.

“There must be an old quilt around here somewhere,” he said, rummaging through the ancient cedar chest at the end of the bed. Mary and Thomas had once called this room their own, but Mary had admitted, once the kids were older and having friends over all the time, it was easier to just let them have this space. It was one of the largest rooms in the house. She and Thomas had moved to a smaller room down the hall.

“Thank God,” Mackenzie mumbled, as Will tossed a floral print quilt toward her. She pulled off the offending Bieber blanket and remade the bed with the quilt. But then, suddenly, there they were…staring at each other across the bed.

“Uh…I’m just going to go get changed,” Mac said nervously as she headed toward the bathroom.

“Get a grip McAvoy. You’ve seen her naked in every way imaginable. You’re working on getting back together again. Surely, you can manage to sleep with her and not ravage her in the middle of the night,” Will said softly, trying to give himself a pep talk. Pep talks went out the window, though, when Mackenzie returned wearing an old Jets t-shirt of his…and nothing else. Ok, he thought, it’s not like she’s wearing a bra and a garter belt here. Take a deep breath, man!

“There were towels under the sink. I left one on the counter for you,” she whispered, standing there awkwardly.

“Thanks,” he mumbled, and practically ran toward the bathroom. He tried to waste time doing any number of things, hoping she might be asleep by the time he got out, but to no avail. He could see her fluffing up pillows and trying to rearrange the blankets when he came out. He crawled into bed next to her and settled down to sleep, but he could feel how tense she was.

“Are you asleep?” he asked.

“No, are you?”

“How in the hell could I be asleep if I just asked you if you were asleep Mac?” he asked rhetorically. She burst out laughing.

“What?” he wondered, but secretly enjoying the peals of laughter coming from her.

“This is just so _us_ Will. Arguing about who is or isn’t asleep. We were dead on our feet a few minutes ago. Why can’t we sleep now?” she asked.

“Because we haven’t been in a bed together in four years and I’m a little hyperaware of the fact that you’re lying next to me,” he admitted.

“Me too,” she said softly. “So, what now?”

“Bedtime stories? Counting sheep?” he suggested.

“I’ve got a better idea,” she said, and he could feel his groin tighten at the mere thought of what her ‘better idea’ might be.

“Mac,” he whined in a warning.

“Not _that_ , although I’m certainly not averse to it. Do you have any idea how long it’s been since I’ve had sex Will? I’m a woman on the edge, but don’t worry, I won’t take advantage of you.”

Damn, he thought to himself, being taken advantage of by Mackenzie McHale sounded like a hell of a lot of fun. “What are you suggesting then?” he asked.

“World capitals,” she responded cheerfully.

“You _can’t_ be serious,” he replied. It was a stupid little game they had played on road trips and while sitting in boring conference rooms and meetings and even, sometimes, when one of them couldn’t sleep. They would test each other’s knowledge of oddball world capitals.

“I _can_ be serious and I am. Madagascar,” she said evenly, waiting for his reply.

“Fine. The capital of Madagascar is Antananarivo.   What is the capital of Brunei?” he asked, turning on his side and watching her think. God, they were such geeks…and he loved it. Loved everything about her and the way her mind worked. He almost laughed at the way she pursued her lips in the moonlight coming in through the windows.

“The capital of Brunei is Bandar Seri Begawan,” she replied happily, clearly glad to not let him stump her.

“Good Lord, do you know _every_ capital in the world Mac?” he asked facetiously. But her little ploy was working. His eyelids were growing heavy and he could tell hers were too.

“I do not know every single one…just most of them. What is the capital of Mali, Billy?” she asked sleepily.

“Bamako. Are we doing all the B’s tonight or something, because I refuse to allow you to answer the Iraq or Lebanon ones then. Baghdad and Beirut are far too easy. Even sorority girls must know those,” he said, but soon he was drifting off to sleep.

“Good night Will,” she whispered, pushing his hair back from his forehead and placing the softest of kisses there.

“Night Kenz…love you,” he whispered half asleep.

He woke Mac up with his thrashing about a little while later and she could tell he was very agitated. She tried rubbing his chest and that didn’t seem to make any difference. She tried to pull him into her arms and when she put her arms around him it made him fight harder to get away. After a few minutes he’d settled down and Mac went back to sleep.

About an hour later Will sat up in bed and yelled, “please, no.”

Mac was immediately awake and saw Will breathing heavily and pulled him to her. “I’ve got you,” she said, running her fingers through the hair on his neck. He was holding onto her as tight as he could, his head buried in her shoulder. She could feel the tears through her shirt. “Just breathe, Billy, it was a nightmare, no one is going to hurt you. I won’t let anyone hurt you. I’ve got you and I love you.”

“Love you, Kenz,” he mumbled into her shoulder and pulled away so he could rest his head against hers. “I’m sorry I woke you.”

“Do you want to talk about your nightmare?”

“It’s because I’m here, in this house, in Lincoln.”

“I’m sure it’s because you’re worried and over-tired, too,” Mac said. He nodded. “Do you feel like lying back down?”

“Okay,” he said and started to move away from her.

She scooted down in bed and said, “come here,” holding out her arms.

He was hesitant but he moved so that she was holding him and he was resting against her chest, his arm wrapped around her waist. “I’m not too heavy?”

“Not at all, you feel good.” She was rubbing his back, tracing random patterns through his t-shirt. She saw him finally fall back to sleep. Fortunately, that was the only other time he woke until morning. They hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep, but they’d gotten enough for now.

When he woke up, still on Mac’s chest and his arm around her waist, she was already awake. He lifted himself up and her hand was immediately on his face. “Are you all right?” she asked.

He nodded and leaned down to kiss her softly. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I like holding you.”

“We should get up and go see Mark and Pam and the kids.”

“Do I have time for a quick shower?” Mac asked.

“Sure, go ahead. I’m going to see if Lonny is awake.”

Mac was up and gathering her things for the shower as Will opened the door to go find Lonny. She’d hoped that he would have wanted to shower with her, and truth be told he probably did, but they weren’t there, yet. They’d barely shared a couple of very brief kisses.

When Will returned to the bedroom, he brought two coffees with him, fixing hers the way she liked. It wasn’t long until she walked out of the bathroom wearing jeans that did amazing things for her legs and a nice casual top. He handed her a coffee. “Thank you,” she said, taking a sip and then placing it on the dresser. “Did you want a shower?”

“Yes, I’ll be quick.   Lonny is getting a shower, too. We’ll pick up some breakfast en route, if that’s okay with you? I didn’t see any fresh food in the kitchen.”

“That’s fine. I’m going to finish getting ready,” she said and started to move away from him but before she could he grabbed her hand and pulled her to stand in front of him. He took her other hand in his and stood there with her. “There’s no place else I’d be, Billy,” she said as if reading his mind.

He smiled at her and very slowly he leaned in and kissed her and this was not like the kisses from earlier, soft and hesitant. He was sure that she was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and he needed her to know that, too. His tongue was teasing and stroking hers, her hands were squeezing his as they stood there together simply kissing. “I love you,” he said as their kiss ended.

“I love you, too.”

“I’d better…I’m going to take a shower. I’ll be right back,” he said and grabbed one of his bags and walked into the bathroom. He came out dressed in jeans and a t-shirt with a sweatshirt tied around his shoulders, not necessarily for him. He knew how cold she often was and if he could help, he’d gladly wear the sweatshirt.

“You didn’t shave,” she said when he got closer to her.

“Do you want me to?” he offered.

“God, no, I like the scruff,” she said smiling at him, running her hand along his jaw. “Put your shoes on and lets go find some breakfast.

Will did as she asked and Lonny drove them through a drive-thru to pick up breakfast that they all ate en route to Mark and Pam’s house. Mac and Will were sitting together in the backseat. His hand was resting on the seat between them and with her pinky, she grabbed his pinky; he turned his head and smiled at her, pulling her hand into his.

Will gave Lonny directions to Mark and Pam’s house on the lake. When they pulled into the driveway they saw Mark playing catch with his son. “How old is Jackson now?” Mac asked.

“He just turned eleven.”

They saw Mark walking toward them, and as he approached, Will opened the door and got out, holding his hand out for Mac and helped her out of the car.

“Will?” Mark said walking up to his big brother and hugging him. Will held him a little longer than normal and quietly asked, “do the kids know?”

Mark replied, “they do,” and pulled back to see Mac standing there watching them. “Mac,” Mark said and pulled her into a hug.

“It’s so good to see you.”

“Dad?” Jackson called.

“Come say hello, Jack,” Mark called to his son. The boy ran over and saw that it was his uncle.

“Uncle Will,” the boy said smiling and hugged him.

“Hey buddy,” Will said hugging the boy tight. He turned the boy in front of him and said, “you probably don’t remember but this is Mackenzie.”

“English accent?” Jackson asked, looking up at Will.

“Good memory, got it in one,” Will said pushing the boy toward Mac. The boy easily hugged Mac, who returned his hug.

“You’re so grown up since I’ve seen you,” Mac said, making Jackson smile.

“Go ask your mom to come out here, please. Tell her I need to show her something but not a word about Will and Mac.”

“Got it,” he said, running into the house.

Mark noticed Lonny and Will said, “Mark, this is Lonny Church, my bodyguard.”

Jackson came out of the garage with Pam, holding her hand. “What did you need….Will? Oh my God, what are you doing here?” she asked, easily going into his arms.

“Check this one out,” Mark said, standing next to Mac, his arm around her shoulders.

Mac was smiling at Pam. “Mac, God, it’s been too long,” she said and hugged her.

“Daddy?” a very young voiced called from within the garage.

“Come here, baby,” Mark said, meeting the little girl and picking her up. He walked back to the group. “Who is that?” Mark asked pointing at Will.

“Uncle Will,” the little girl said, launching herself at Will from her father’s arms. Will easily caught the girl, kissing her cheek and hugging her.

“How’s my girl?” Will asked her.

“Good,” she said and laid her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Hey, Em,” Pam said and Will put the girl on the ground. “I want you to meet someone. Well, you’ve met her before but you probably don’t remember. This is Mackenzie.”

“Hi, Emily,” Mac said.

“Hi,” she replied, staying close to her mother.

“She’s precious, Pam.”

Pam smiled and said, “we like her,” tousling her daughter’s hair.

Will saw that Jackson was wearing a baseball uniform. “Do you have a game today?” Will asked the boy.

“We do and I’m pitching,” he explained. “We’re undefeated in our league.”

“That’s awesome, buddy. Are you warming up with your Dad?”

“I’m trying to get a new pitch down and I’m having a hard time with it so we’ve been practicing.”

“Will you show me?” Will asked.

“Dad?”

“Go on, I’ll play catcher. Show Will the pitch,” Mark said tossing the ball to Jackson and walked back to the yard area. Will walked Jackson out to the mound and was talking to him.

“Tell me about this pitch?” Will asked.

“It’s supposed to be a breaking ball, but I can’t get it to go right.”

“Are you trying to throw a slider or a curve ball?” Will asked.

“Slider.”

“Show me how you’re holding the ball.”

Emily, Pam and Mac had moved over to watch Will and Jackson. Will was showing Jackson the movement of the pitch and the mechanics of the pitch.

“Will does love his baseball,” Pam said.

“He does,” Mac agreed.

“I’ve got to get this one dressed, we’re dropping her off at a birthday party and then going to Jackson’s ballgame.”

“Do you mind if we tag along to the ballgame?” Mac asked.

“Not at all, come on inside and I’ll get you some coffee and we can get this one ready to go.”

Will very patiently coached Jackson through the pitch and corrected his stance when necessary, and by the time Pam and Emily were ready, Jackson was consistently throwing the slider. Pam called them inside and Jackson turned to Will and said, “thanks, Uncle Will,” and hugged him.

“You’re welcome, buddy. Come on, we don’t want to get in trouble with your Mom.”

“Run grab your bag,” Mark said to his son. “Thanks for showing him that. He loves baseball as much as you do, but since I never played, I’m not much help to him.”

“You are out here playing catch, and being there for him, that’s what he needs, the rest, you can learn easily enough.”

“I can learn how it’s supposed to be done, but actually pitching, that’s all you,” Mark said.

“I’m happy to show him anything I can. I also want to help you any way I can,” Will said, carefully broaching the subject.

Mark turned to Will and simply looked at him and finally said, “thank you. I don’t know what you can do….”

“Will you and Pam talk to Mac and I?”

“Of course. What’s going on with you and Mac?”

Fortunately, Will didn’t have to answer. The women and Jackson came out and Mark opened the minivan for them.

“We’re going to drop off Emily at a birthday party and go to Jackson’s game but after that….”

“Do you mind if we go to the game with you? We can follow you,” Will said.

“I know you love baseball, but little league?”

“How often do I get to see my nephew pitch?” Will asked.

Mark and Pam both smiled at each other. “Okay, okay, you win. Follow us,” Mark said.

Mac and Will got into the back of the car and Lonny followed Mark. Will picked up her hand and rested them on his leg. “What were you showing Jackson?” Mac asked.

“How to throw a slider. I was watching his mechanics, he’s got a good pitching arm. He needs to be developed, though, so he doesn’t get hurt.”

“Did Mark play baseball?” Mac asked.

“No, he preferred football.”

They chatted until they reached the ball field and Lonny parked next to Mark and got out with Will and Mac. Jackson was out of the van and running to the field to find his coach. Will put on a ball hat and his sunglasses and they all walked to the stands with Lonny trailing behind.

“Do you always have a bodyguard?” Pam asked.

“I do, it’s something you get used to,” Will said putting his arm around Pam.

Pam shook her head and said, “I’m not sure I’d get used to having someone around.”


	4. Chapter Four

Pam and Mac went to sit on the bleachers while Will, Mark and Lonny stood at the fence watching the kids warm up. Soon, they were joined by some other fathers.

When Mac and Pam joined the others on the bleachers several of the women said hello and Mac looked at Pam. “Small town” Pam explained.

“Do you miss the city?” Mac asked.

“Not at all. This move was best for us but I can’t imagine you and Will ever living here.” Mac laughed.

“Not being able to get falafels at 2am, or Chinese, we wouldn’t survive,” Mac half teased and then added, “but we also miss out on the family things, too.”

“May I ask?” Pam questioned.

Mac was expecting this and said, “you may ask anything.”

“Are you and Will back together?”

“We’re working on it.”

“Good. You know you’re already a part of this family.”

Mac shook her head. “You, Mark and Will’s family, maybe, but Mary and Anna have never liked me. We ran into Anna last night. She’s living at Mary’s.”

“Really? Mary specifically told her not to live there and I’m sure she doesn’t know. There will be hell to pay when she finds out. Anna is very selfish and there’s always drama that’s never her fault. Don’t worry about anything Anna says. I thought you and Mary got along?”

“Better than Anna and I, but we’ve never both been in one place long enough to let the relationship grow. I hope that we would and we could have a great relationship, but I don’t know if that’s possible.”

“It is, Mac, trust me, it is, and Mary and Thomas are great.   You’ll really like them.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever met Thomas, he was away on business so much when Will and I were together. And I’ve probably laid eyes on their children once.” Mary and Thomas and their children had never figured as prominently in Will and Mac’s lives as Mark and Pam and their children had. Maybe they would all get a chance to be closer now.

“Give them a chance.   Mary isn’t Anna…nowhere close.”

Mac nodded and looked at Will and Lonny standing at the fence.

Lonny was giving Will some space when another of the fathers came up to the fence and started chatting. “Do you have a son playing today?” the man asked Will.

“Nephew.”

“My son is playing shortstop, number eleven out there warming up.”

Will nodded. “Important position.”

“It is and he takes it seriously, but this is more fun for him.   He’s not as passionate about it as some of the kids. I tell you the kid to watch today, along with your nephew,” the man added smiling, “is number seven. He’s going to pitch today. The kid has got an arm on him.”

Will smiled and said, “thanks for the tip.”

The umpire called the teams together and Will turned to find Mac on the bleachers, his eyes spotting her immediately, and he made his way up next to her. “They look good,” Will said to Mac and Pam.

“They practice a lot, but Jackson’s always excited to go and being part of the team has actually helped his grades, not that they were low before but where he was getting high Bs and As, he’s now getting straight As. His coach is all about school.”

“Good, school’s important but so is baseball,” Will said smiling at Pam.

“Wait until you see his room, it’s an homage to baseball. He loves it so much.”

“That’s great, but you’ve got to know how talented he is, too, Pam. I was watching him and when I was showing him the pitch at the house, the talent is there but it needs to be developed. Will you let me see if I can arrange some local, higher level coaches to come talk to his team. I want them to watch Jackson, but I’ll make sure that they know to come and see the whole team and not single him out. If they see what I see, will you talk to me about getting him some private coaching?”

“Will….” Pam warned.

“He’s that good, Pam, trust me, I know what I’m talking about.   And I’d like to help him, if you’ll let me,” Will said.

“We’ll talk about it, okay, that’s all I can promise.”

Will smiled at her and he knew he’d won the battle.

Mark joined them and sat next to Pam. Together they all watched the game. Mac, though, was also watching Will. Will was concentrating on the game but he saw Mac shiver and took the sweatshirt off and handed it to her.

“Are you sure?”

He leaned in and kissed her softly and nodded. She smiled and hugged him. After a few innings the Umpire called the game for Jackson’s team per the rules of having so many more runs than the other team. Jackson had got to pitch the entire game and after thanking the other team, he ran to find his family.

“Great game, buddy,” Will said as Jackson came up the bleachers and straight to his Dad, giving him a hug.

“Thanks,” he said smiling and then hugged his Mom.

“We need to go pick up Em,” Mark explained. “You guys want to grill some burgers for lunch?”

“That sounds great,” Mac said, leaning back against Will, who in turn, wrapped his arms tightly around her.

“Okay, we’ll grill and maybe we can go out on the boat this afternoon and talk. The kids both have plans for the afternoon and will be gone until tonight.”

“Thank you,” Will said looking at Mark.

“Let me guess…you want to fix this?” Mark said, later that afternoon, when they were all sitting quietly together on the boat.

“I’m not trying to rush in and be the hero here Mark, I’m trying to offer my resources. Who the hell else do I have to spend money on? I don’t have a wife or children. I have a nice apartment and buy myself some pretty decent guitars and some great meals out. Other than that I don’t have much of a need for the salary I make. Let me help,” Will pleaded.

Mackenzie could hear the hurt in his tone when he sadly admitted that he didn’t have a family of his own to spend his money on. Damn it, would she always feel this ache in the pit of her stomach when she thought of how lonely Will really was?

“I have job Will. I have insurance…there’s no need,” Mark began, but mercifully, Pam cut him off.

“And they’re already arguing with us about which hospitals we can go to and which doctor’s are in-network and how much time you can have off. I’m not going to sit here and watch you be stubborn and pig-headed right into the damn grave Mark! It’s not just you we’re talking about here. We have two children who aren’t anywhere near ready to be without their father. Take the damn money! Take the damn connections! Take whatever the hell he’s offering!” Pam screamed.

Mac grabbed a few tissues from her purse and offered them to Pam, who took them and swiped at her tears, but refused to look anyone in the eye just yet. Mac let her be.

“Look, I’m not trying to jump in and take control. I get that maybe I do that too much in my life with the people I care about,” and he looked meaningfully at Mackenzie when he said it. “Do whatever it is you think is best for you and your family. Continue on with your doctors and the treatments they suggest, but if, at any time, you feel like you aren’t getting the best care possible, I want you to come to me. That’s all I’m asking Mark. If anyone around here suggests that you seek out another opinion, or that your odds would improve if only you had access to a top-notch treatment center, then pick up the damn phone and call me. I’ll make it happen. I promise.”

“Ok,” Mark agreed, and an expression of such joy spread across Will’s face that it was hard for Mackenzie to look away for a moment. She loved watching happy Will. It was something she had seen far too little of in recent memory.

“Ok,” Will agreed, sitting there grinning goofily.

“Oh for God’s sake, would you two just get it over with and hug each other all right already?!” Pam shouted. Mackenzie chuckled. Will and Mark gruffly, but quickly, hugged.

“Thank God that’s over,” Mackenzie muttered, and she and Pam burst out laughing. It was so good to be back together again…all of them. They spent the rest of the afternoon laughing and crying and simply enjoying being a foursome again. But all through the day and into their dinner that evening, Mackenzie was watching Will out of the corner of her eye and wondering if he realized what he had said earlier and how much it had meant to her.

“What?!” he finally shouted later that night, as Lonny drove them back to Mary and Thomas’ house.

“Nothing!” she shouted right back, and Lonny chuckled from the front seat.

“Eyes forward!” Will grunted out. “And what in the hell are you staring at me for Mac?!” he asked.

“Hey, I’m your bodyguard, not an indentured servant. My eyes will go wherever they damn well please,” Lonny said under his breath.

“Sorry,” Will apologized.

“Well, answer him, would you?” Lonny said, looking at Mackenzie through the rearview mirror.

“Jesus Christ! When did everyone in the known universe become a damn expert on our relationship?” Mackenzie asked him.

“When you sent an email to 145,000 employees of AWM. I’m on that list you know,” Lonny informed her. Will just laughed. Mackenzie fumed.

As soon as they pulled into the driveway of the old farmhouse, Mackenzie was out the door and dragging Will after her.

“I’m not as young as I used to be Mac. Could you slow down a little?” he pleaded, trying to keep up with her quick stride towards the cornfields surrounding the house.

“Did you really mean it?” she asked, once she had stopped walking. He looked at her confused.

“What you said back on Mark and Pam’s boat? That you jump in and take control of the people you love a little too much? And then you looked at me Billy. Did you…” she tried to formulate another question, but couldn’t quite seem to get it out.

“Yes,” he said simply. “Look, I’ve been talking to Habib for months now about forgiveness and betrayal and a lot of the things he’s said have made sense. But I figured if you and I had any hope of getting back together, I damn well better figure out where I went wrong in our relationship too Mac. Because you and Brian,” and he took a deep breath as he said that name “ _that_ didn’t happen in a vacuum. I was there too. There had to have been something that I did wrong to send you back to that asshole,” he finished.

“I’m not sure I agree with that, but go on” she replied.

“I’ve been taking care of the people around me since I was ten years old Mac. Hell, probably even younger than that. I don’t exactly know _how_ to have a relationship between equals. I push and I prod and I direct…that’s what I do. But you never really needed me to take care of you…to take care of anything for you. And that sort of threw me for a loop. I probably stepped on your damn independent toes one too many times. I’m sorry.”

“Wait, _you_ are apologizing to _me?_ ” she asked, stunned. “I cheated on you…and you’re apologizing to me?!”

“Well, yeah. I’m not saying what you did was right or that my behavior justified it. We should have sat down and talked about things like adults. But I’m pigheaded and proud and egotistical and you’re stubborn and independent and we fucked it all up Mac. But I think maybe my controlling tendencies are mellowing, and your stubborn streak is fading, and maybe we could make it work this time around?” he finished that sentence with a question…as if he was in doubt.

“Yeah, I think maybe we can,” she said, squeezing his hand and walking back toward the house with him.

“Was I that bad before?” he asked curiously.

“You weren’t controlling in the sense that most people think of that term Billy. You weren’t a domineering, abusive partner. You were just…just…” she stuttered.

“An asshole?” he asked.

“No, never,” she told him. “But you seemed to want to take care of everything.   _All the time Will_. One day I was sitting alone in the apartment and I realized I didn’t know where anything was. I didn’t know which channel was which on cable. Hell, I didn’t even know where we kept the take-out menus! And do you know why? Because I had never once decided what we were going to have for dinner, or what we were going to watch on tv. It all just became a little overwhelming. And then Brian started calling, and you and I weren’t in a very good place at the time, and it all just seemed to happen so quickly. I’m sorry Will. You’re right we should have talked to each other more. Maybe that’s what this last year and a half has been? We’ve been nothing more than work partners and friends…we’ve done nothing _but_ talk for the last eighteen months. We should be experts by now!” she exclaimed.

“Actually, I think we’ve screamed and shouted and argued more than we’ve talked, but still,” he remarked, and she smacked him upside the head.

“Hey! My face is my fortune here! Stop being so abusive,” he whined, rubbing the back of his head for effect.

“Oh please! First off, I didn’t hit you that hard. And second, your face is not your fortune. Your brain and your voice are. You could read names out of the phone directory and you’d have me weak in the knees Will McAvoy. And you know it. Don’t be obtuse.”

“Is that right? Well, I’m sure Mary and Thomas left a phone book somewhere around here. Let’s go inside and give it a shot,” he said chuckling. Just then they heard a shriek from the driveway.

“Billy! Is that you?” Mary shouted, and came running toward them. She threw herself into her brother’s arms and he swung her around.

“Hi Mary,” he said softly as he hugged her.

“Well, well, well….look who we have here,” Mary said, clucking her tongue.

“Hello Mary,” Mackenzie greeted.

“I’m surprised to see you here Mackenzie. All things considered.” Mary looked her up and down. Suddenly Mackenzie was glad for her height. At least Mary didn’t tower over her. The look she was giving her would have been much more intimidating if it wasn’t coming from a woman who was five foot four.

“Mary…” Will warned.

“Relax Billy. You’re a big boy. I don’t get involved in my sibling’s romantic entanglements. Been there, done that with Anna. It’s been nothing but a huge disaster. I’ve learned to hold my tongue,” Mary replied tiredly.

“That bad?” Will asked.

“You have no idea Billy. No idea at all.”

“She’s here, you know,” Will told his sister.

“What? Here? As in my house, here?” Mary asked, stunned.

“Yup. In one of the guest rooms. Don’t worry. Mac and I cleaned up the kitchen this morning,” Will told his sister, at her panicked look.

“Jesus Christ! She’ll burn the place down or something if she’s left to her own devices for too long. I told her she couldn’t stay here! Where in the hell did she get keys?!”

Mary looked like she wanted to cry. Hell, she probably did. She was coming back home to a place she had only just managed to pack up and leave less than two months ago. She was coming back to spend time with her seriously ill brother. And now, she was coming home to what could be a disaster in the making with her own sister.

“Thank you. Both of you,” Mary said quietly, and gave Mackenzie a short smile.

“So, did you bring the kids?” Will asked, eager to see the niece and nephew he had barely laid eyes upon in the last ten years. He had never been all that close with any of his siblings once he left Nebraska. Mark and Pam were a different story. He had been close with them because of Mac and because of the connection they all shared from their time in D.C. But Mary had never strayed far from Nebraska until this recent move, and she and Will couldn’t have been more different.   Where Will craved a challenge and an adventure, Mary truly would have been happy to have never left this old farmhouse. As such, Will hadn’t been much of a presence in the lives of Mary’s now teenaged children.

“They’re getting their stuff out of the car. Thomas just started work at the San Francisco branch of his company’s office. He couldn’t leave so soon after the move, but the kids were thrilled at the idea of getting to come home to see their friends. Go say hi,” Mary offered, pointing him toward sixteen-year-old Jarod and fourteen-year-old Kate.

“I read the email you know,” Mary said to Mackenzie, as Will strode up the lawn toward Mary’s children.

“You and half the fucking world apparently,” Mac replied. At that, Mary started laughing hysterically. Mackenzie soon joined her.

“I knew you were a klutz. I didn’t know that extended to technological devices as well,” Mary told her. It was still something Will’s siblings liked to tease her about. When Mackenzie was nervous, she fidgeted, and when she fidgeted, things went wrong. That very first weekend she had met Will’s family she must have tripped over every damn shoe, rug or small child that she came near. She was just so damn terrified to meet his entire family all at once that she was a mess.

“I hurt him Mary. I know how much I hurt him now. You have to believe me when I say I would never do that to him again,” Mackenzie promised the woman. Mary looked at her and seemed to be appraising her statement.

“You better not,” she said seriously. Mackenzie just nodded.

“I meant what I said to Will, Mac,” and Mackenzie let out a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding when Mary used her nickname. Maybe all hope of a relationship with Will’s family wasn’t fading?

“What’s that Mary?” Mackenzie asked.

“I don’t get involved in my sibling’s love lives. Lord knows, Anna has brought home some real _winners,_ ” Mary huffed out “but I gave up trying to fix her life years ago. I am _not_ going to try to interfere in Will’s. He’s always been more of a father to all of us than a brother anyway. No way in hell am I going to tell him what to do now.”

“Thanks,” Mackenzie responded, not sure if she should really be thanking the woman, but she was grateful that another McAvoy sibling seemed to be accepting her…and her relationship with Will.

“Don’t thank me just yet. I won’t interfere, but you hurt him again, and all bets are off,” Mary warned.

“Fair enough,” Mackenzie replied. “So, are you going to introduce me to your kids, or what?”

Mary’s children barely remembered Will, and had only met Mackenzie briefly one weekend years ago, so there was that awkward re-introduction to each other. Mainly, the two teenagers wanted to go off to see their friends and could not have cared less about all these boring adults. Although Kate did seem quiet enamored of Mackenzie’s accent and upbringing and repeatedly asked her what it was like to grow up as the daughter of an ambassador and travel the world. Kate was in that phase of teenage life where everything about your hometown and your parents seems interminable boring.

Mackenzie was being incredibly patient with the girl, but she swore, if Kate asked her one more time to say “bloody hell” or “bollocks” she was going to feign a headache and go off to bed.

“If I ask you to say it, will you smack me too?” Will asked cheekily as they got into bed.

“Yes,” she replied, her patience finally wearing thin.

“I’ll read the phone book to you,” he offered and she laughed.

“Well, ok then,” she agreed, curling up on her side and turning away from him. “Are you waiting for an invitation Billy?” she asked.

“Huh?” he replied, dumbfounded.

“I’m cold and I’m tired and I’m sick of being an exhibit of British pronunciation. Now, scoot over here and keep me warm,” she pleaded.

He’d never heard a better offer in his life, so he rolled over closer to her and wrapped himself around her.

“Mac?” he asked a few minutes later.

“Hmm?” she mumbled, clearly already falling asleep.

“Thank you for coming with me,” he said.

“Anytime, Billy, anytime.”

There were no nightmares and Mac woke with Will still curled around her. His hand, however, had made its way under her shirt and was dangerously close to her breast. She could tell the instant he woke and he realized where his hand was located. He started to pull back but Mac’s hand on his stopped him.

“It’s okay,” she said.

“I’m sorry….”

She turned over onto her back and placed her other hand on his cheek. “I want you to touch me, you have no idea how good you make me feel, touching me.”

He knew they were in this for the long haul but he was fighting with himself over whether or not to continue this contact. He wanted her, no doubt. But they had very little privacy and now with Mary and the kids back in the house they had even less.

He moved his hand to her breast and caressed her, his thumb teasing the nipple.

“Fuck, Billy,” she moaned and arched up into him.

He leaned down and kissed her, his tongue playing with hers all while his hand was doing amazing things to her breast. When he pulled back he said, “we need more privacy than we currently have. Please don’t think that I don’t want you, fuck, Kenz, I’m hard as a rock and I want nothing more than to sink into you.”

“We never were quiet,” she said smiling at him.

“You were always louder than me,” he teased.

“Seriously? You think I can’t make you louder than me? Is that a challenge?”

“We definitely need more privacy,” he said. He softly kissed her and pulled his hand from her breast.

“We have a good reason to go to a hotel now, not enough room,” she reasoned.

“Mark and Pam are going to offer their guest room,” he predicted.

“Damn. We can’t move and not tell them?”

“And when they call here looking for us,” Will said, “because they will and then we’ll have to explain why we didn’t tell them and stay there when they have a perfectly fine guest room. It just happens to be next to Emily.”

“Fuck, Billy,” she said burying her head in his shoulder. He pulled her tight against him and she could feel how hard he was from their brief encounter.

He smiled at her. “Soon, Kenz, I promise. I want to make love with you just as bad as you want to make love with me. We’re there, together.”

“We’re suffering together,” she whined.

“I know and I’ll make it up to you, I promise. We’ll spend the next weekend we’re both home in bed, we won’t leave the apartment at all.”

“That sounds nice. Will you take a bath with me?”

“I will. That sounds very nice. You sitting between my legs, resting back against my chest.”

She smiled and said, “not helping.”

“How about I go get us some coffee and we’ll figure out what we’re doing today.”

“Coffee sounds great.”


	5. Chapter Five

While Will was gone Mac texted Pam to see if she and Will could use their guest room. She knew Pam would be up, she always had been early to rise and with kids, she was sure she was awake and probably already fixing breakfast.

Pam quickly offered their guest room and told them to come over whenever they wanted. They even had a pull out for Lonny.

Mac thanked her and explained that they’d be over after they’d had showers.

Will returned with their coffees and sat back on the bed with Mac, who was reading on her phone.

“Anything happening?” he asked.

She looked up and said, “no, I was texting with Pam. We are welcome to use their guest room and they even have a place for Lonny.”

“Lonny will be thrilled to be away from Jarod asking about his gun.”

Mac smiled and took the coffee he held out to her. “Thanks,” she said sipping the hot liquid. “Did you want to shower first? We can move out to Mark and Pam’s this morning.”

He sat down next to her and pulled her against his chest. “Do you mind if we sit here for a few minutes?”

“Not at all. You okay?”

He nodded and kissed the side of her head.

While Will was in the shower Mac went to talk to Lonny and explained that they were relocating as soon as they’d all showered and gotten ready. Will, in turn, explained to Mary that they were going to Mark and Pam’s so that they could have their house back to themselves.

When they arrived at Mark and Pam’s house the kids were playing video games in the living room and Mark was on the computer. Pam was cleaning up in the kitchen. Will stayed in the living room and Mac joined Pam in the kitchen.

Pam poured Mac some coffee and they sat in the breakfast nook. “Are you okay?” Mac asked her.

“It’s been a morning, you know?”

Mac smiled and took her hand. “I do know. Anything you want to talk about?”

“Not with the kids here. Let me see if I can get Mark to take them along with Will and Lonny out on the boat,” she said and left the kitchen. When she came back a few minutes later she explained that Mark was going to take them out along with Lonny and Will, giving them some time to talk. It was a few minutes later that everyone but Pam and Mac had left, giving them the house to themselves. “Let’s go somewhere more comfortable,” Pam said, leading Mac out to the living room.

They sat on the couch and Mac took Pam’s hand and said, “tell me.”

“It’s just been a bad morning.”

Mac moved closer to Pam and pulled her into her arms and she felt Pam start to cry. Mac held her and let her cry. This, most likely, was the first time she’d done this. Pam would have been strong for everybody else but she needed to let the emotion out and Mac was glad that she was there and could help. After a few minutes Pam pulled away from Mac and grabbed some tissues from the table for both of them. Both women wiped their eyes and Pam said, “I needed that, thank you, Mac.”

“I think I needed it almost as much as you did. Did anything happen this morning?”

Pam got up and brought a basket full of mail into the room and sat it on the coffee table. “These are last week’s insurance letters, the latest of which thinks that we need a second opinion. Do I need to be told to get a second opinion? They are trying to figure out a way to pay the least that they can, and that’s not right. Medical care in this country is fucked up, Mac.”

“Please keep in mind that we want to help any way we can and if that’s responding to stupid insurance letters, I know a great lawyer who is itching to take on anything he can to help. I can imagine the letters he would write.”

Pam laughed. “Does he still have his license?”

“Yes, he keeps it active, just in case, you know?” Mac said.

“He does like to take care of people,” Pam said.

“Too much sometimes. But he means well.”

“Tell me about the two of you. How long have you been back together?”

Mac wasn’t sure how to explain that it was Mark’s illness that brought them back together. “You know I went to the Middle East after Will and I split, don’t you?”

“No, I didn’t. Why?”

“I couldn’t see Will everyday and see how much I hurt him. So I spent twenty-six months embedded in Iraq, Afghanistan and sometimes Pakistan. I’d probably have stayed longer but I got hurt and had to be airlifted to Germany.”

“Are you all right?” Pam asked.

Mac smiled and said, “I am, no remnants other than a scar. I got a call after Will had the vertigo incident at Northwestern, offering me an executive producer job in New York. Will had no idea, this was all done behind his back, I later found out. He was not thrilled to see me but we were able to at least work together and eventually we were even friends again. It’s taken a long time, but the time it’s taken for us to even be friends again was good, as it gave us time to really get to know one another again. Maybe even better than before, or maybe it was a different level, but we love one another and we both know that we want the other, forever this time.”

“You met Mark first, though, right?”

Mac smiled and said, “I did and he introduced Will and I.”

“Were there ever any sparks between you and Mark?”

Mac was dreading this question. “No. He did ask me out once, but his timing was horrible. He asked the day after my first date with Will. I explained that I was going out with Will and Mark didn’t speak to me for a week.”

“Wounded pride,” Pam added.

“Something like that. Anyway, Mark met you about a month later and the rest is history.”

“How long have you and Will been back together?”

“Less than a week.”

“Mac!” Pam exclaimed.

“We’ve been getting closer for a while but with Mark’s diagnosis we figured out we were wasting time.”

“I’m glad you’re back together,” Pam said taking Mac’s hand. “Don’t get me wrong, I love Mary and Anna, but I’m glad you’re back.”

“Me, too. I know Mark won’t let us know what any of you need, but promise me you’ll let me know. Anything we can do, we want to help.”

“Thank you,” Pam said hugging Mac.

Mark and Will were up at the front of the boat. Lonny and the kids were at the back, looking for fish.

“Thanks for coming out with me,” Mark said. “Pam needed some time.”

Will decided that Pam had been taking care of everyone else and needed some time with Mac to talk. “There are things she needs to talk about that she can’t talk about with you, you’re too close,” Will said.

“I’m glad Mac is here for her to talk to, she doesn’t have any real close friends that she’d talk to about this.”

“Mac is a good listener and she’s not afraid to tell you you’re being an idiot, but the accent makes it better some how,” Will said smiling.

“You love her?” Mark asked.

“I never stopped. We just weren’t together for a while. You never get a woman like Mackenzie out of your system, little brother, trust me.”

“Do you know…never mind,” Mark said.

“Do I know that you asked Mackenzie out? Was that what you were going to ask me?”

Mark smiled and nodded.

“I found that out a few days ago. I was not happy that I didn’t know years ago.”

“You didn’t yell at Mac, did you?” Mark asked.

“I did,” Will admitted.

Mark was about to defend Mac when Will’s phone went off; he had a new text. It was from Mac. She suggested that Mark and Pam take the night for themselves, and they’d watch the kids, and even went as far as to suggest they spend the night in a hotel. Will was smiling.

“You only smile like that for Mac,” Mark said. Will was replying to her text and said that he thought that was a great idea and that he’d talk to Mark.

“It is from Mac and she has a great idea.”

“What’s that?”

“You need to take the rest of today and spend it with Pam. Reconnect with your wife. Mac and I will watch the kids. Go spend some quality time together. She’s going to be holding everyone together and she needs some time alone with you before that starts. Get a hotel room, make love to your wife, make sure she knows that you know how much she’s going to be taking on and that you want to spend some time with her now, while you can. You’ve got built in babysitters. Our plane doesn’t leave until tomorrow afternoon.”

“Will….”

Will could see he was hesitant about the arrangement. “You don’t want to spend the night in a nice hotel making love to your wife?”

“Will….”

“Do you not trust Mac and I to be able to take care of Jack and Emily?”

“I do.”

“Let’s go back to the house and you and Pam go have fun,” Will said smiling at his little brother. “You do remember how to have fun, don’t you, little brother?”

Mark got this look in his eye and smiled at Will. “I certainly do, big brother.”

“Before we go back, did Pam talk to you about higher level coaches coming to talk to Jackson’s team?”

“She did. You really think he’s got what it takes?”

“I do. If the coaches come and don’t see what I do, then nothing was wasted, and the kids got to talk to some nice guys.”

“Okay, you can arrange the coaches to come talk to the team,” Mark conceded, begrudgingly, but happily.

“You’re going to need to talk to his current coach and fill him in.”

“Okay, I can do that. Thanks, Will.”

“You’re welcome. Let’s go back to the house and see what our women are doing.”

Mark started the boat and drove them back to the dock and together they all walked into the house. Mac and Pam were sitting out on the deck in the sun, drinking coffee.

Mark came up behind Pam and kissed her cheek and said, “may I talk to you a minute?”

Pam followed Mark inside while Will, Mac and Lonny kept the kids outside. Will was standing behind Mac, massaging her shoulders while the kids were playing in the yard. A few minutes later Pam was in the doorway and asked Will and Mac to come inside.

“You guys really want to do this?” Pam asked.

“Yes,” Will answered. We can hang out with the kids and we can take them to school in the morning. Our plane leaves at 4pm, that’s the only thing we have to do.”

“Mac?” Pam asked.

“Go enjoy your time with Mark. We will take care of the kids,” she replied.

Pam hugged Mac and then Will and took each of their hands in hers and said, “thank you, both for doing this for us.”

Will kissed her cheek and said, “go tell the kids we’re in charge and get out of here.”

“I’ll go start packing our bag,” Mark said. Pam sat the kids down and explained that she and Mark were going to have a date night and that Mac and Will would be staying with them. The kids were very excited that their parents were gone for the day and night.

Pam joined Mark upstairs and finished packing their bag and they drove Mark’s car, so Mac and Will would have the minivan, in case they needed it, or wanted to take the kids somewhere.

After dinner Will was playing video games with Jackson when he turned to Will and asked, “is my Dad going to die, Uncle Will?”

“I hope not, but you know he has cancer and that’s a pretty serious thing Jack.   But we’re going to make sure he gets the best treatment available.”

“I don’t want him to die,” Jack said, tears in his eyes.

Will pulled the boy close to himself and asked, “have you talked to your parents about how you’re feeling?”

Jack shook his head. “I don’t want to scare Em.”

“Your Dad would want you to come talk to him. He knows it’s scary. It’s scary for him and he knows it’s even more scary for you.”

“Can I talk to you?”

Will smiled and said, “any time you want. I’ll make sure you have my direct number before I leave and any time you want to talk you can call me. I’ll give you Mac’s number, too.”

“Thank you,” Jack said, leaning over to hug Will.

“You’re welcome, buddy. Why don’t you set us up another game and I’ll be right back.”

Will went looking for Mac. He walked past Emily’s room and almost didn’t see them curled up in the corner of Emily’s bed. He came back and stood in the doorway, watching them. They had not yet seen him. Mac was reading to Emily and had her curled up in her arms, pushing her curls behind the girl’s ear. Will stood there for the longest time. He and Mac had never discussed children but standing there, watching her with Emily, for the first time he saw her as a mother.

Mac looked up and saw him and smiled. “What are you doing?”

“Watching you, gorgeous. What are you reading?”

“Harry Potter,” Mac said quietly as she just noticed Emily had fallen asleep on her.

“I’m sure she was thrilled,” Will said chuckling. Mackenzie frowned.

“She _was_. She says it’s so much better when I read it because I sound like Harry and Hermione,” she admitted. Will laughed and carefully sat down on the bed next to them.

“You’re good with her,” he told Mackenzie.

“And you’re good with Jackson. With all of them really…even the teenagers,” Mac said ruefully.

“Teenagers are really just hormonal, grumpy little adults. I simply treat them with kid gloves, you know, the same way I treat Reese Lansing,” he told her.

“Ah, I see. I will have to try to employ that method when we get back to New York,” she told him. “Help me out from under her, would you?” she asked, nodding toward a sleeping Emily.

Will gently lifted Emily away from Mac, which allowed her to slip out from under the girl, without disturbing her sleep. The two adults quickly left the room before they woke her.

“Jack, finish up that last game and start getting ready for bed, ok buddy?” Will asked his nephew when he and Mackenzie made it downstairs, only to find the young man knee-deep in zombie killing.

“One more game?” Jackson pleaded.

“Nope, we’re going out for breakfast tomorrow morning and I don’t want to have to drag you from your bed to get waffles,” Will told him.

“We’re going out for breakfast?” Mackenzie whispered.

“Of course, there’s no way in hell I’m letting you cook. We promised Mark and Pam that their children _and_ their house would still be in one piece when they returned,” he joked.

“Hey! I resent that remark. There was only that one small fire I set at your apartment, Billy, and it was five years ago. Do you have to keep bringing it up?” she asked, looking up at him from her position, standing against him, tucked into his side.

“Mackenzie, you left a potholder on a burner. Cooking really isn’t rocket science, you just need to keep flammable items away from open flames.”

“Fine, laugh it up mister, just remember I own you for an hour every night, and I can make you pay,” she reminded him.

“I look forward to it,” he said, with a leer.

“Me too,” she whispered.

“Do you think they’re going to let us help?” Will asked, so softly and quietly later that night, that she wouldn’t have heard him if not for the fact that she had her head laying on his chest, as they curled up together in Mark and Pam’s guest room. The bed was barely big enough for the two of them and Mac had no choice but to lie partially on top of Will, but neither of them were complaining. If they’d had a bed the size of Times Square, they still would have been huddled together, taking comfort in their closeness.

“I do,” she assured him. “I really do Will. Pam had a good cry with me earlier, and Mark is talking about letting you hire a coach for Jackson, and they trusted us with the kids tonight. I think they’re really glad they have some support. Mary and Thomas are too far away and have too much going on right now with the move. And Anna is more of a burden than a help most of the time. I think they’re happy for the help and I think they’re comfortable with that fact that it’s coming from us. We were all close once…I’d like to think we can get there again.”

“Me too,” he whispered, kissing her on the forehead and listening to her breathing even out. He soon followed her into sleep.

The next morning was a serious lesson in parenting for both of them. Emily was running around the house, as if unable to sit still, and Jackson was grumpily stumbling about, moaning about having to get dressed so early for breakfast. But once everyone was seated at Will’s favorite hometown diner, there were the sounds of happy children, and weary adults all digging into pancakes and waffles and loads and loads of coffee for Will and Mac.

After a riotous ride back to the house (who knew a simply game of ISpy could lead to World War III as Jackson and Emily argued the validity of whether or not it was within the rules of the game to spy something on an iPhone?) everyone stumbled inside and waited for Mark and Pam to return. When they did, they were all smiles, and looked significantly more relaxed.

“So, did you two have fun?” Will teased.

“We did indeed,” Mark said, grinning. Pam smacked him in the side and went off to find her children.

“Are you guys ok?” Mac asked.

“Yeah, we’re great!” Mark said cheerily. “How are _you two_?” he asked meaningfully.

“We’re getting there Mark. We’re getting there,” Will assured his brother, slinging his arm around Mackenzie.

“Get there faster. Nobody lives forever,” Mark said sagely, and left them thinking about that remark.

The whole family (aside from Anna, who was probably off somewhere seeking her latest inappropriate boyfriend) gathered to wish Will and Mackenzie a safe trip back to New York. And as they watched his family disappear in the distance, Will grabbed Mac’s hand and kissed it, then laid their joined hands in his lap.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” she asked, leaning her head on his shoulder in the backseat of the car.

“I’m thinking about what Mark said. It’s true Mac. We don’t have forever. You’ve been amazing these past few days, with Mark and Pam and the kids…and with me. You’ve been everything I could have asked for. It’s not going to end once we get back to the city, right?” he asked, and she couldn’t hold back her shock.

“Will! We talked about this! I told you I wasn’t just here for Mark. And I wasn’t just here for the trip back to Nebraska. I was here for _you_ …and I will continue to be. Don’t be ridiculous,” she snapped, and he could tell he had hurt her with his doubts, but she had to understand. Somewhere deep inside he was still that abused boy and that betrayed boyfriend. It would take some time to erase his doubts.

They were quiet for much of the trip back to New York. He could tell just how much his questions had shaken her. She gripped his hand tightly the entire plane ride, but she barely looked at him, barely spoke.

Lonny looked at the two of them questioningly when they landed at JFK, and wondered where in the hell it was written in his employment contract that he also had to be some sort of relationship counselor or romantic entanglement go-between? He waited patiently for someone to tell him where they were going.

Mackenzie simply threw her briefcase and purse in the back of the SUV and gave them both a death glare. “Well? What the hell are you two waiting for? Are we going home or what?” she asked.

“She always like this?” Lonny asked.

“Yeah,” Will replied.

“You’re one hell of a lucky man, you know?”

“I know,” Will agreed, grinning.

“I’m sorry I asked. I’m sorry I doubted you… _us,_ ” Will told the curled up lump in the corner of his bed.

“You better be,” she snapped.

“Are we really going to sleep three feet apart Mac?”

“No,” she replied, but didn’t move. So he inched his way over toward her and enveloped her in his arms.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he whispered over and over into her ear.

“Me too, me too, me too,” she told him. “Can we start over now? No more apologies, no more regrets?” she asked him.

“I think I’d really like that,” he agreed.

“Good. We’ll start over tomorrow. I’m too tired to start over tonight.”

“Okay,” he chuckled against her hair.

“And I expect croissants and café au lait to help us start over,” she said impishly.

“That I can do,” he agreed.

“I also expect lots of sex and cuddling and hand-holding and staying in bed all weekend,” she demanded.

“ _That_ I can _definitely_ do. Go to sleep Mac. We have a lot of making up to do.”

The End...for now.

 


End file.
